It was touch and go there for a second. For a huge chunk of last month, I was draped with heavy feelings. Actually, they were more than feelings. They were like blankets because I felt like I was bundled in them. I felt overwhelmed financially, worried about credit cards and student loans. I felt aimless, not knowing where God wants me to go or what He wants me to do. Should I stay in my current job? Should I leave to pursue something closer to my heart? If so, where and how? Then the heaviest garment, loneliness, swaddled me from head to toe. I could actually feel it wrap around me at the oddest times: at work, at home watching CNN, even riding in the car with friends.
I remember one night praying and weeping to God. I truly had never felt such a thing. Tears were my daily diet and my nights were frequently restless. But while talking with the Lord, a thought occurred to me, "Take it in sips, not gulps." Sips. When you sip something, it's often because it's hot. It's too much to handle in bigger sections. If you were to gulp it down, you would either burn your tongue, scald your throat or worse, choke. But by sipping, the drink is easier to digest, you can enjoy the taste and best of all, it lasts longer.
I think I was trying to down it all in one gulp. Discover my true passion, organize my life, and fall in love in one week! LOL. But Jesus reminded me that each day is a sip of my life that I should savor. He can handle the gulps.
"So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today."
-Matthew 6:34 (NLT)
1 comment:
I am so mad that you have had a blog this long and it was absolutely the most beautiful post I ever read. This needs to be published and read by everyone. I have so much to read to so much to comment on. I was reading this jenesis and I saw glimpses of me. I have had "tears for my diet" on many occassions. Thank you for sharing and I wish I had your writing skills. Love yah Jenesis, Jwriter.
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