Laura's married :)

When I was growing up, the highlight of my week was catching ABC's "TGIF" Friday night line-up. My favorite part was watching nerdy but loyal Steve Urkel pine after the love of his life, Laura Winslow on the sitcom, "Family Matters."  Although Steve's advances of romance were continually spurned by Laura, by the series' end, the two wound up getting married. 


Last month, the actress who played Laura, Kellie Williams, found real life romance. The story brought a smile to my face and made me a little nostalgic for my childhood days in the 90's. I may have to put some "Family Matters" DVDs in my Netflix queue. 

Crush

I was about 6 years old when I got my first crush. He was a wiry little boy by the name of Michael Bell. He had a hi-top fade with three bars shaved into the side of his head. Michael had a deep molasses complexion and was missing his two front teeth. You couldn't help but zero in on the gap in the center of his smile. I was totally in love as were all the other first grade girls. I quickly became a part of the gaggle who swooned daily after him. He knew it, too. But at that time,  I was too young to let cockiness disenchant me. 


As I got older, I would try on crushes and relish them until, like lip gloss, the sparkle faded away. They only lasted a school year, give or take a holiday break or teacher conference days. Looking back, the objects of my affections were as different from each other as fire and ice. One year, it was a pudgy little boy who wore pride like cologne. Another year, it was a silver bespectacled gangly class clown. If I collected all my crushes together, I don't know if I'd find a common theme among them. Maybe it was something in their auras, something in their personalities that reached out and grabbed me. They weren't the perfect package but they had pieces of it. 


I eventually grew out my infatuations and graduated college, crush-free. (However, he's the exception. I think I'll be in love with him for as long as I live!)


With that said, I'm surprised to find myself, at the ripe old age of 25, dealing with a crush. It's a delicious problem. 


Easy is the word that comes to mind when I think of him. He's incredibly easy on the eyes. If my superficial teenage self were to build the perfect man, I do believe she would come up with him. 


His personality is easy.  He's remarkably smooth and fluid. I wouldn't be surprised if he takes a chill pill every morning with his orange juice.  


The only thing that's not easy is how to control myself when around him.  I monitor my voice, my movements, my words, and my actions closely when in close quarters with him. Then I grade myself when he's out of my presence. And I almost always fail. But, in spite of that, I'm always eager to try it again. 


So do crushes in your twenties linger, combust, or grow into something lasting? I don't know. Maybe I'll ask him about it...:)

I hear you

In case I forgot (which I did), God reminded me that He hears me. 

My morning commute yesterday started off simply enough. I easily got a seat on the train and was happily occupied with my headphones and newspaper. At the next stop, a man sat down beside me and a second or two later, so did his scent. It wasn't disgusting but it was certainly foul. I don't know if he didn't brush his teeth or he ate something that wasn't right but one thing for sure: The smell wasn't right. Not willing to risk losing my seat on a fairly long train ride, I hugged the plastic partition that was the other side of me and tried not to breathe in the communal air space between us. 

Once at work, my energy level was quickly depleted. By 11:30, 11:30!, I was ready to call it a day. To top it off, I didn't feel like myself. I felt heavy, emotionally and physically. By this time, clouds sagged in the sky and the dark environment began to influence my mood. 

I needed to finish my work. I needed the old me to come back. So I prayed. "Lord, put me on someone's heart to pray for me 'cause I can't do this."

I shook my head, blinked my eyes, and forced myself to come to life. A couple of hours later, I walked to a co-worker's office to help her with a project. When I got back to my desk, an e-mail pops up from her that read:

"As you left [my office], I asked God to return everything to you that you have sown in the lives of others.  Please don’t discount your value to the body of Christ or to people like me."

He never seizes to amaze me. Thank You, Lord. 

-I will call to You whenever I’m in trouble, and You will answer me.

Psalm 86:7 (NLT)

Sips

It was touch and go there for a second. For a huge chunk of last month, I was draped with heavy feelings. Actually, they were more than feelings. They were like blankets because I felt like I was bundled in them. I felt overwhelmed financially, worried about credit cards and student loans. I felt aimless, not knowing where God wants me to go or what He wants me to do. Should I stay in my current job? Should I leave to pursue something closer to my heart? If so, where and how?  Then the heaviest garment, loneliness, swaddled me from head to toe. I could actually feel it wrap around me at the oddest times: at work, at home watching CNN, even riding in the car with friends.


I remember one night praying and weeping to God. I truly had never felt such a thing. Tears were my daily diet and my nights were frequently restless. But while talking with the Lord, a thought occurred to me, "Take it in sips, not gulps." Sips. When you sip something, it's often because it's hot. It's too much to handle in bigger sections. If you were to gulp it down, you would either burn your tongue, scald your throat or worse, choke. But by sipping, the drink is easier to digest, you can enjoy the taste and best of all, it lasts longer. 


I think I was trying to down it all in one gulp. Discover my true passion, organize my life, and fall in love in one week! LOL. But Jesus reminded me that each day is a sip of my life that I should savor. He can handle the gulps. 


"So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today."
-Matthew 6:34 (NLT)